


Bent But Not Broken

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Depression, Episode: Sacrifice Coda, Gen, M/M, Post-Season 8 Finale, Pre-Slash, Self-Loathing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-16
Updated: 2013-05-16
Packaged: 2017-12-12 00:57:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/805294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel is dealing with the fallout from having his grace stolen from him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bent But Not Broken

When all is said and done, Cas is happy being human.

It was rough at first. The bumps along the road were large, and emotionally taxing for all. Cas pushed everyone, including Dean, away, and that hurt Sam for Dean as much as it hurt Dean himself.

They didn't know what to do. At first, Dean tried to just ignore it. They had bigger problems- angels falling from the sky all over the world, Sam hurting from the unfinished trial, Crowley half-human.

Cas was happy to not talk about it. What could he say? He explained what happened, but offered nothing more. Instead he burrowed inside himself, with nothing but his grief for company. His brothers and sisters weighed heavily on his mind, and the only thing he could allow himself to think about was fixing it. Except, every time he tried "fixing it", it seemed to break even more.

Sam, being Sam, tried to get him to talk about it. Asked him how he was feeling, if he needed anything. Cas said he was fine. He was loath to even ask for the basics that he needed, like clothes, toiletries, and food, let alone anything more substantial. He did, to survive, although he didn't know why he even bothered. Self-preservation, he supposed.

After a month of that, a month of Cas shuffling around the bunker or riding silent in the backseat of the Impala, Dean took him for a drive. Just the two of them.

They sat in silence, parked next to a lake. Dean got out of the car and opened Cas' door, holding out a hand to help him out. Cas took it, reluctantly, and Dean led them to the edge of the water.

They stood there, side by side, not saying a word, for a long time. Finally Dean started talking.

"I need you to listen to me", Dean said, glancing at him quickly then turning his gaze back out over the water.

"I've told you this before, but you never seem to hear me. I need you, Cas. I need you now. I need you for you, not as an angel, not as a tool or a weapon, just you. I know you're hurting. Don't think I don't see it, or I don't care. I do. I just don't know how to help you."

Cas sighed wearily, "Dean..."

"That's not my fault though, because you won't talk to me. I know you're hurting, but I'm hurting too." His voice caught, but he swallowed it down and continued, "I know you don't want to be human, and I will fight, do whatever I can to get your Grace back. But you've gotta be here, with me, when I do. We have to do it together".

Cas wanted to tell Dean that it wasn't being human he hated, that it was everything that lead to it. The fact that he didn't get a choice in the matter. He wanted to tell him that he would have chosen to stay with Dean, but not at the expense of his brothers and sisters. That he wanted to help, wanted to do something right, for once, but he didn't think he could.

Instead, he nodded, and leaned into Dean until their shoulders were touching. That'd have to be enough, for now.


End file.
